Self-Growth, The Key to Living Your Best Life.

What is Self-Growth? It is taking action on the decision that something needs to change in our lives. Self-Growth is taking personal responsibility for our own learning and development through a process of assessment, reflection, and taking action.

If our life is not the way we would like it to be, if there are some things that are not working for us, and if we do not feel good when we wake up in the morning, we need to first recognize it and admit it. Denial is something that we are all very experienced at. People can go on for a long time ignoring things and pretending that things are another way. Ultimately, it all will come crashing down and we will be face to face with the truth.

Denial

Our ego, in it's attempt to keep us from the painful truth, will use denial. Denial causes so many other problems. Mental illness is the behavior patterns that we use to avoid the painful truth (or what we perceive to be the painful truth). Unfortunately, the pain of avoiding it is far more debilitating. The result of pretending that things are different from what they really are, is physical and mental illness.

Telling the Truth

Telling the truth is necessary for change and for health. Interestingly enough, sometimes we don't know that we are not telling the truth. The reason for that is we haven't been telling the truth to ourselves. We can go on for years, telling the same stories to justify something that has happened in our lives. After a while, we forget that it was a fabrication. We begin to believe it ourselves. I suppose we needed to believe it. At some point, we have to admit that the story is no longer useful. When we examine our behavior, we will start to realize it.

There is nothing in the world that contributes to the sense of freedom more than telling the truth

The Bible says "and the truth will set you free"--John 8:31-32





Accountability

I could not find a definition of accountability that fits my application so this is my version. I must be delicate about this so as not to offend those who do not have the belief that we attract everything into our lives by our thoughts and feelings. Accountability is basically taking the responsibility for what happens to us. Even if it seems to be out of our hands, we would accept that some part of us attracted it. If you don't believe that, act as if you do and it will free you up to act on it. If you are a victim of circumstances, there is nothing you can do to change them because whoever or whatever caused them will have to fix them. It is extremely empowering to not be a victim." Someone gives you a lemon, you make lemonade".

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not for the people who have wronged you. It's for you. Forgiveness is not condoning. It is the process of letting go of your resentments. We, as people, are always doing the best we can with what we have. Sometimes that doesn't look so good and a lot of the time it doesn't work for what we intended. Nevertheless, we try. So when we are bitter or resentful towards someone else, we are really treating ourselves badly.( the person we are mad at is in Hawaii riding the surf)

What we put out into the world, we get back. When we let negative thoughts and feelings go, we free up so much more room for loving feelings. And we are healthier.





The Past is the Past, The Present Is The Point of Power

What if you had no history? What would that mean to you?

Who you are is the result of all that has taken place in your past. All of the decisions you've made, all of the results you have experienced both good and bad have made you who you are today.It is all over and done with, now. So do you need to relive the past? I think not. If we had no history, we would have nothing to regret, nothing to be sorry for and nothing to drag with us into today. We would have nobody to forgive and nothing to deny. How would that feel?

Drastic a thought as it seems, we need to move on. We need to let the past be the past and live in the present. How alive we would be with the idea that we are at the starting gate of a new life. Going on the idea that the past is the past, we would be able to love and accept ourselves for who we are today. Ultimately, we would be able to accept everybody and everything exactly as it is. What a concept!





The Fear and the Power of Change

Making important changes in your life ( self-growth) can be a little scary, but it will always be stimulating. There is nothing like the feeling of fear followed by action, followed by good results. It's like running a marathon. You imagine what you will feel like after 3 to 4 hours of running. Yes, you are tired, but underneath all of the physical exhaustion is a feeling of power and of energy that is indescribable. It's almost as if you could do it again. There is no other feeling in the world as the feeling you get from the 'knowing' that you can do anything you want in your life, if you just believe it. I challenge you to find that feeling!

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Acceptance of What Is! The Key to Sanity

I believe that acceptance of ‘what is’ is the hardest thing for human beings to do. ‘What is’ constitutes the events that have transpired, the events we expect will take place, the belief system we have attached to them and the way things are in this moment of time.

For some reason, if events or people are not going or being the way we want them to, we make up stories that convince us that they are other than the way they are. We gossip about things. We become angry about things. We make up stories about how things should be and we just plain deny what is. Most of the time, we have absolutely no ability to effect how things are. We can’t change others. We just can’t change others. We usually can’t change circumstances either. Generally, we didn’t create the circumstances, so they are not ours to change.

There is a serenity prayer that I like to refer to whenever I catch myself in denial of ‘what is’. It is written by Reinhold Niebuhr.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Oh, that we should all be wise!

But here is the rub. We deny things we can change because we are afraid of what the truth will bring. People are afraid of admitting to themselves what is really going on because they are afraid of change.

A big side effect of denying what is and pretending it is another way, is mental illness. I always say that mental illness is the behavior patterns we adapt to prevent us from facing the truth about what is happening in our lives. Denial is caused by fear. Fear of the unknown is great.

It usually takes a great deal of discomfort before we are willing to see things the way they are and then more discomfort to make a change.

Sometimes we have to accept things just the way they are and move on and sometimes we have to accept the way things are and make changes in our own life to necessitate the changes that effect us personally. Awareness is the key to recognizing what is going on and wisdom is knowing the road to follow for yourself.

However you look at accepting ‘what is’, the freedom of the truth is eventually exhilarating and freeing. The truth will always set you free.


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Self-Growth is the most important thing you can do for yourself. It effects your entire life always and forever.




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The Balanced Brain-Our Optimum State!

Do you know anything in life that is not at it’s best when it is balanced and harmonized? Since the brain is the control center for all that we do, wouldn’t you think that balancing our brain would encompass so much of what our life is all about? The brain drives our visual and spatial senses, attention and concentration, memory, orientation, language and the ability to reason and be logical. When our brain is out of balance, so is everything else.

Thanks to advances in Neuroplasticity, we now know that the brain can rewire its own network, and thereby optimize its capabilities.

Capitalizing on these advances, a technique called brain training was created by a man called Lee Gerdes. Brain Training or Brain Optimization invites the brain to become more in tune with itself. Brain Optimization is an effective, holistic and non-invasive method that guides your brain back to its natural, balanced state.

A few months ago, I met two wonderful people who introduced me to the process. Carol and Dave were enthusiastic but sensitive about the fact that this is a new technique and often attracts fear from skeptics and the status quo. I am an explorer and I am up for pretty much anything that would help me to be a better person. I have spent all of my adult life involved in self-growth. This was exciting for me.

How Does It Work?

Every series of sessions begins with a brain map. Sensors are placed in strategic spots on your head. Information is collected that allows the brain to be observed. Our brain trainers work with us to interpret the data and describe our brain balances and imbalances. Brain training is not based on diagnosis and neither is it concerned with symptoms a client may be suffering from. It focuses on the degree of balance and harmony the brain experiences. When our brain is balanced, our body is balanced and hence our whole being becomes balanced.

The brain trainers help you to set goals and work with you to restore your brain to its natural state of balance and harmony. Your own brain waves are translated into melodious sounds, allowing it to ‘hear’ itself. It then recognizes where it is out of balance and thus coaxes itself back into harmony.

Too way out for you? Well, do you remember when man thought the earth was flat? And how many of us know what makes a light turn on?

My experience with brain balancing was and still is phenomenal! I am more confident and sure of myself. I am clear and focused about what is going on and how it really affects me. There is no more fog in my thinking and I have no difficulty identifying my priorities. What I notice most is that I have become my own witness. I can see so clearly the things that I say and do and what my gain is from those actions. I am less stressed and am able to identify what is my own business and what is someone else’s. Detachment is easier now. I still care, but I can’t change or fix others. I would definitely recommend it to anyone.

Just about every one of us has experienced a trauma or crisis that has thrown our brainwaves out of balance. Even a baby can suffer from trauma at childbirth.

Here are some of the conditions that respond well to Brain Optimization: Anxiety. Depression. Panic Attacks. Lack of Focus. Memory Problems. Addictions. ADD/ADHD. Sleep Issues. Anger. Stress. PTSD. Brain Injury. Learning Disorders. Pain Mitigation. Dementia. Sexual Performace. Sports Performance and many more.

My hope is that more people will see the advantage of Brain Optimization. Would it not have an impact on the way humans communicate and solve their issues. What about World Peace?



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